I know I know, you have to be professional and all… but sometimes…
A guy who knows a friend of mine, calls in today. First call of the day…
He says he wants to “send some emails. 15,000 of them.” (swear that’s what he said).
I say, “I don’t spam people, I can create a cold email sequence for you if you want”.
-“Isn’t this the same thing?” he asks.
-“Isn’t cold emailing, spam?”
-“No buddy.. Cold emails are not spam. Spam emails are spam”, I reply.
(By the way, you know how this is going to end, when you call a prospect “buddy” and he’s OK with it…).
-“So, what do you want exactly?”, I ask foolishly..
-“I want you to send 15,000 emails.”
-“OK. Anything else?” (this is getting funny..)
-“Yes. You must send the emails to the customers’ inbox not in spam.”
-“Oh, these are your customers. OK then.”.
-“No, man. Not my customers. I paid a kid to get me those emails from facebook”
And he continues. With a warning.. 🙂
-“15k emails as a trial for now. If you can hit the inbox we will repeat the project.
If you can’t hit the inbox please don’t waste our time.”
OK, now I really have to ask…
-“What’s inside this message buddy?”
-“A real estate money opportunity.”
-“I see… Do you have a verified company email account and a verified website to send these emails?”
-“No, we don’t want to send them with our site’s credentials. My internet guy told me it could hurt our site’s reputation (U-N-B-E-L-I-E-V-A-B-L-E!!)”
-“So your copy is so bad, that it will hurt your site’s rep. But you want to send it from another site, because for some magical reason it will then land inside your prospect’s inbox. That’s what you are saying, right?”
-“Sorry buddy, I can’t help you with that. Good luck with your campaign.”
(And that was another Thursday in the life of a copywriter..)
Be safe everybody,